Life is Always Changing

I hate having to readjust. I know that life is always changing, and you have to roll with the punches. But, I don't like it.

Since TP left Fort Myers, I have had Juan all to myself. I would go to work and he was here, I would come home and he was here. I liked having him home with me and we were able to spend time together.

Then in May I started helping out the day shift and I was there for 4 months. That was an adjustment, and I found that I liked it better for my lifestyle when I was not working. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to stay on days. There is a huge difference in the hourly from nights to days and it comes out to be able $1000 after taxes a month. That's a whole lot of money. I don't mind working nights, I love the people I work with, they are a great group. I just would rather be at home. But since I like to live in my house and eat and drive my car, I will go to work so I can pay "The Man".

Finally, the time came when it was time for Juan's mini vacation to end and time to go back to work. So, now he is working, I am working and on top of that he is going to school. I come home in the morning, he is sleeping, I give him a kiss and crawl into bed. He leaves for work a couple of hours later and kisses me goodbye. Now, I won't see him again, until I come home in the morning.

Of course I only work 3 days a week, but it is hard when I don't get to spend time with him. I am really trying not to work on Wed. or Thurs. these are his days off and he only has school, so I get to spend some time with him. When I was working days, I would come home, he would come home and we spent a couple of hours together before going to sleep together.

Since I am coming back to nights during this schedule, I am trying to not live my life the way I did last time I was on nights. Last time, I would stay on a night schedule whether I was working or not. Which means that if I was off, I would still sleep all day, maybe get up around 2 or 3, then I was up until 4 or 5 in the morning. In fact I often had to take Benadryl to help me go to sleep.

This time, I am trying to actually sleep at night and be awake during the day when it is my day off. It can be challenging especially when you don't have a long stretch of days off together. Like right now. I worked Friday night, I was off Saturday and I work on Sunday. I only slept about 4 hours on Saturday and then woke up. Went out to Gulf Coast with Juan and some work friends and came home and went to sleep at 2am. I forced myself to sleep late because I have to work tonight. So I got up at 2pm.

It is hard to keep flip flopping back and forth and I wonder the toll it is really taking on my body. I know it will be okay, I just have to readjust and get used to the change. It just seemed easier when we were leading a "normal" life.

If there is any such thing.